Supporting our Teenagers Struggling with Mental Health: A Parent’s Guide

Adolescence is a time of significant change and growth, both physically and emotionally. It is also a time that teens are finding out who they are, what they stand for and where they fit into the world. This has been made so much harder for teenagers through their use of social media and technology. They are constantly being told what they need to wear, like, listen to, believe and look like to be cool and accepted by their peers. It’s almost like they have to develop themselves as a brand before they have even begun working out who they are as a person. Due to this, it is no surprise that this is the time that many can struggle with their mental health. As a parent of a teenager, this can be a really scary time, leaving some feeling powerless and not sure where to go for help. It is our job as parents and guardians to recognise when our teens are struggling and have the hard and brave conversations with them around their mental health, as this can be crucial for their wellbeing. Below I have put together 5 tips to guide these conversations.

Create a safe and supportive environment to discuss mental health.

You don’t need to wait until your kids are teens to be able to do this. Establishing an environment where a child can talk about their feelings and feel supported will help them when they become a teen to trust that you are going to be there for them when the going gets tough. Have open communication without judgement. We want our kiddo’s to be able to come to us about anything without feeling like they are going to get in trouble, be made fun of, or judged. Make sure you are in the right frame of mind to have these conversations so that you don’t react negatively or dismissively. If you find yourself reacting negatively, jumping into punishments or being dismissive of their feelings, take the time that you need to refocus and apologise. This might mean coming back to the conversation later, but make sure you communicate this to your teenager at the time. If you fall into the trap of not being supportive of their feelings, this will deter them from opening up to you in the future, when it may really count.

Initiate the Conversation

Approaching the topic of mental health can be challenging. Start by choosing a time when you both are relaxed and free from distractions. You might say, “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed yourself lately. Is everything okay?” Be patient and allow them time to respond. Sometimes teens may not immediately open up, but knowing you’re there and concerned can make a difference. Be open about your own or other people’s experiences of mental health. Use TV shows and movies to spark these conversations. We want to work towards removing the stigma around mental health, so they are more likely to reach out for help when they need it. As they say, it ain’t weak to speak!

Listen Actively and Validate Their Feelings

Active listening involves not only hearing what your teenager is saying but also understanding their emotions and perspective. Repeat back what they’ve shared to ensure you’ve understood correctly and validate their feelings by acknowledging their experiences without judgment. For example, “I can hear that you are saying you are really overwhelmed by school at the moment, Have I gotten that right? That must be really tough”. This also gives you an opportunity to link their experiences to the emotions their feeling. This helps to externalise their internal world in a safe and validating way.

Offer Practical Support and Resources

Once you have cracked the code and have been able to get your teen to open up, what’s next? Being able to work with your teen to plan around their mental health and the supports they may need. This could be exploring some mindfulness strategies, sleep hygiene, exploring what they are eating and physical exercise, or exploring their current responsibilities and seeing if there needs to be a change or additional support such as a tutor. This could also be going to the GP for a mental health plan to see a psychologist, reaching out to local services such as Head Space, exploring medication if needed, or finding them a counsellor for support. Offer to accompany them to appointments and research reputable resources and services together. Showing proactive support demonstrates your commitment to their well-being and allows them to maintain their autonomy.

Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Help your teen develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress and emotions. This might include regular exercise, participating in team sports, creative outlets like art or writing, or spending time with positive and supportive friends. Encourage them to maintain a balanced routine that includes adequate sleep, nutritious meals, and time for relaxation. By promoting these habits, you empower them to take control of their mental health. It is also important to reflect on what you are role modelling around mental health. What are you taking care of yourself when you are struggling? Do you role model using self-care strategies? Is this something that is openly talked about to role model that self-care and mental health is important? We are our teens greatest role models around mental health and should take every opportunity to role model positive strategies and brave conversations.

Talking to teens about mental health requires empathy, patience, vulnerability and love by the bucketloads. By creating a safe space for open dialogue, initiating conversations with care, and providing practical support, you can help your teen recognise and develop a plan when they are struggling with their mental health. Remember, your role as a parent or guardian is not to “fix” their problems but to support and empower them as they explore their mental health and come up with their own strategies to improve it.

As you embark on these conversations, know that seeking professional guidance may also be beneficial. Counsellors offer specialised support and strategies tailored to your teen’s needs. Please visit www.kisfa.com.au to see how we can support you and your teen in this Journey